Catholic in the City: A Woman's Journey to Living Out Her Faith

A week and a half ago I watched a movie called " Voces Inocentes/Innocent Voices ".  The movie was made in 2004, 12 years after the civil war in El Salvador ended.   Voces  depicts the story of children during the Salvadorian civil war ( 1979-1992 ).  During the civil war children, especially young boys, not fully understanding what was going on, had to choose an allegiance - either to the guerrillas or to the government army.  Neither group was free of violence.  To see the depiction of the thought process and emotions of these children stretched my mind.  Prior to becoming a mother I had read about child soldiers in Africa, but for some reason that was a bit intangible for me - both because I had yet to have a child of my own and because I have never been to Africa.  Something about going to El Salvador, understanding its history a little bit more, and being a mother, has given me a deeper understanding of the complexity that still lives in the minds of these children who

We were told that El Salvador is doing 50% better than all of the countries around the world and 50% worse than all of the countries around the world - when it comes to poverty, violence, education, health care, and access to resources.  We also learned that 90% of all of the drinking water in El Salvador is contaminated, therefore to have clean drinking water, people, if they can afford it, need to drink bottled water.  Many people in El Salvador do not have this luxury.  We visited many people that had a spout where water comes out of.  Depending on the community sometimes the water comes out of this spout one time every other week or one time a month.  Unfortunately those who have this spout have to constantly keep a bucket under the spout because they do not know the exact day and time the water will spring forth - and this water is not clean drinking water.  I have noticed that many developing countries I have visited have a scarcity of clean natural water.  Not having access to

Ever since my trip to Peru, Bolivia, and Argentina in 2008, Maryknoll Lay Missioners ( http://www.mklm.org/ ) have been in my heart.  The core values of of the missioners: Gospel values, option for the poor, conversion, witness, crossing cross cultural boundaries, community, forming ecclesial teams, and building bridges with the U.S. church, really resonate with me.  This particular trip was sponsored by both Maryknoll and JustFaith Ministries ( http://www.justfaith.org/ ).  Maryknoll Lay Missioners were the main tour guides for us while were were in El Salvador.  Maryknoll has been in El Salvador for almost 50 years.   On Saturday, August 3rd, we visited the site of where four church women - two Maryknoll Sisters, one Ursline sister and a lay missioner - Jean Donovan, were martyred in Santiago Nonualco.  One of the things that struck me most was that we met a priest, Fr. John, who was on site the day the women were found dead.  This same priest had also carried Romero's casket

Ever since I learned about Oscar Romero and the Jesuit martyrs, El Salvador has been a place I have wanted to visit.  Prior to going I knew that El Salvador was sacred ground. Mike and I arrived to El Salvador on Friday, August 2nd.  Once the tires of the plane hit the tarmac tears started to form in my eyes.  I had arrived.  Looking out the airplane windows I saw endless green, beauty, and serenity.  It was hard for me to fully imagine the bloodshed that had occurred in such a gorgeous place during the Salvadorian civil war.    At the Retreat Center. Going through security, customs, and gathering our luggage was easy.  Mike and I had a cute conversation with the lady whom stamped our passports.  We met up with our group outside of the airport near the Subway.  Our group was quite easy to spot because from what I could tell we were the only Americans there that afternoon.  While finding our bus was a little chaotic, everything else about the airport and the drive to the ret

Even though, from what I am reading online, those in Boston can sleep a little better because the two Tsarnaev boys have been caught, a great sadness envelops me.  I am purposely using the word boys because they were young men who still had a lot to learn in life.  They were young men who needed guidance and the hands of their community to grow into mature men in our society.  From what I have read, their family is in poverty, struggles with being immigrants in the US, and both boys lack guidance academically and professionally.  We also have to remember that while these boys have been connected to the bombings thus far, an investigation remains open.  We have to remember our system, innocent until proven guilty.  They are people, creations of God, and we must love them as such, even though their alleged actions are heinous. How often in our own communities do we neglect to guide and journey with those on the margins?  If we were more outwardly neighbors to young men and women in pover

Bless me friends, for I have not written a blog in 10 days.  Friends, forgive me.  Life has been really busy.  Holy week, Easter, Mike's parent's visiting from Ohio, planning a trip to Albuquerque for next month and El Salvador in August, amongst other work and family responsibilities. Today, Sofia and I went to Oxnard to visit my mami.  As you can tell from the picture above she is doing a lot better.  The two major improvements I have seen over the past week are that 1) she is not getting as tired as quickly and 2) her vision is almost completely back to normal - she only has double vision in her left eye, when she looks to the far left.  Today, the entire time I was in Oxnard, I did not see my mami lay down in her bed.  She was either sitting, standing, or walking.  Her physical strength is definitely returning.   Earlier this week one of my mami's doctors told her that she will fully recover!  This has brought a lot of peace into my families heart.  We know full

Alleluia, He is Risen!  How often in our lives do we recognize the risen Lord?  For most of us, when we are in the midst of struggle, we don't know when the resurrection is going to occur.  Imagine what the disciples of Jesus felt when they saw that Jesus was laid in the tomb.  Even though Jesus had told them several times that he was going to rise in three days, they did not fully comprehend what that meant.  They didn't know that Jesus was going to conquer death and sin.  They didn't know that the resurrection was going to occur in three days.  Only after the fact did the disciples begin to understand the notion of Jesus' resurrection.  But even then, some disciples, doubting Thomas, didn't fully grasp what the resurrection meant.  What our faith calls us to do is to trust that God will help the resurrections in our lives come to fruition - no matter how long it takes.   How do you rejoice that Jesus has risen?  What does it mean that Jesus has risen?  How hav

Today's visit with my mami was the best visit I have had with her since the onset of her GBS.  I did not leave her side all day, except for about 2 hours while she slept and I played cards with the rest of my family. As I reflect upon my day with her I cannot pinpoint exactly why I am so joyful.  Perhaps its because being home has a better feeling than going into a hospital?  Or maybe its the comfort of not having to follow any hospital rules?  And Sofia being able to run around my mami like everything is back to normal?  Perhaps its the fact that I saw my mom get in and out of bed easier without much help?  Or maybe its just because this is the first day off of work that I have had in 10 days and I was able to be fully present to her without distractions?     The source of joy I know is God.  I know that God has given my mami the strength to recover rather quickly.  Today I walked with my mami, she was assisted by a walker, for about 10 minutes in front of her house.  She

This entry is going to be disjointed.  My thoughts and prayers have yet to coalesce into something deeply insightful.  Luckily, "God writes straight with crooked lines".   Yesterday at about 6:30pm I got back from a Spring Break trip with 6 students from the USC Caruso Catholic Center to Appalachia; specifically we went to Vanceburg, Kentucky and volunteered with Glenmary Farms ( http://www.glenmary.org/farm/ ).  The trip was very prayer-filled.  I learned a lot about the area, culture, and people.  For example, in Lewis County, less than 1% of all people are Catholic.  When we went to Sunday mass, last week, there were probably about 20 people present, including us.  35% of people in Lewis County are unemployed.  The national average for unemployment is about 15%.  Since there is no work, the community is an aging community.  Music, specifically country music, and family, tend to be the heart and soul of the people in Vanceburg.  I'll reflect more on this experience in

This week for me has been full of ups and downs.  After prayer, and going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation at the Catholic Center, I have come to the conclusion, one again, that I am too hard on myself.  I cannot be everything to everyone, including my mami, papi, husband and daughter.  I can only be who I am and try my best to be as present as possible to them in the moment.  This is hard to grapple with because I want to be exactly what they need, right when they need it.  Again, all I can do is be me and allow God to do the rest.  The priest I went to confession told me that sometimes "to do" something isn't necessarily what is needed, sometimes what you must do is "let it go" and allow it to be.  Funny how "letting go" is a reoccurring theme in my life.  This week has also taught me that I am in serious need of finding a spiritual director.  I have asked a Sister if she can walk with me on my journey towards holiness.  I am awaiting her answer.  

Since Mike, Sofia & I were not going up to Oxnard tonight to visit with my parents I decided that I would stay at work a little bit later so that I could participate in the Stations of the Cross with the students at the USC Caruso Catholic Center.  I was taken aback by how much I was moved by the Stations tonight.  Two Stations struck me hard.  I don't think the students noticed, but I was crying.  I think the Triduum at the Catholic Center is going to have a new level of depth for me this year for two reasons:  my mami and my daughter, Sofia. Jesus meets his mother, station 4.  The Stations at the Catholic Center are painted by Peter Adams.  The art is stunning.  The way that Mr. Adams uses light and colors helps me pray and reflect in a new way.  As we reflected on the Fourth Station I could not help but think about how I have been comforting my own mother as she struggles with GBS and how grateful I am that she has comforted me in the past through heartbreaks, injuries,

The last 48 hours for me have been exhausting.  Although I am tired I am also grateful.  Ministry has been super busy.  Tomorrow night we elect and appoint the new leaders for the 2013-2014 academic year.  For these elections and appointments to take place tomorrow, Anthony, the other campus minister, and myself, need to meet with each applicant individually.  There are about 40 student leadership positions at the USC Caruso Catholic Center.  Beyond the scheduled meetings there are also students in the midst of discernment for leadership who have not 'officially' applied and are in need of an meeting.  Then there are the regular, normal activities, such as RCIA, planning for two spring break projects (one to New Orleans the other to the Appalachian Mountains), a silent retreat that's coming up in April, the bulletin, the weekly email...and on and on.  I am not complaining.  I love every aspect of this ministry, especially meeting with students one on one, listening to their

Today was a big day for my mami!  At 12:30pm my papi arranged for my mami to see her dog, Paco!  It's sort of nuts to think about Paco, this huge, horse like, Bearnaise Mountain Dog, that weights as much as me, going to a rehabilitation facility.  But Paco made it.  He visted my mami in the healing garden on the ground level of the facility.  While I was not present at this reunion, I know that they both rejoiced in one another's presence. Later today my mami passed her swallowing test!  This means that she no longer has her feeding tube!  My mami's first meal was mashed potatoes, gravy, chicken, spinach, dessert, juice and water.  I hope she got her froyo!  Whether she did or not, I am going to bring her froyo on Wednesday.  Conveniently, Yogurtland is right next to the rehabilitation facility!  I am looking forward to seeing my mami without any tubes stuck to her face.  I am re-listening to Fr. Greg Boyle's CD from LA Congress.  The layers of wisdom during h

I am sitting at my computer at home, after a good long day of ministry, drinking a glass of moscato white wine.  In a good way, exhaustion overtakes my body.  It's amazing how much I love my job.  When I was interviewing for this position last year I remember telling Fr. Lawrence and Anthony, that I am my most authentic self when I am ministering to college students.  I knew that statement was true -  but I am amazed at how much God is challenging me to grow to become an even better version of myself through my interactions with all of these students.  My level of prayer and reflection is deeper and my daily mass attendance has even increased.  The sense of community that exists at the Catholic Center is so very reminiscent of the Catholic Community at UCSD, even though the communities are very different.  I cannot describe the gratitude I feel that God has given me this opportunity to minister at the USC Caruso Catholic Center.  I can only hope that God is using me to the best of

Nada te tubre,                                  Let nothing disturb you, Nada te espante,                              Let nothing frighten you, Todo se pasa,                                  All things are passing away, Dios no se muda.                             God never changes. La paciencia todo lo alcanza;          Patience obtains all things; Quien a Dios tiene nada le falta;     Whoever has God lacks nothing; Solo Dios basta.                              God alone suffices. - Santa Teresa de Jesus                   - St. Teresa of Avila As I drove to Oxnard today to visit my mami, I was listening to a lecture on CD given by the former head of the Dominican Order, Fr. Timothy Radcliffe, OP, at LA Congress, on Spirituality and the Universal Call to Holiness.  He quoted St. Teresa of Avila.  All throughout the day this prayer was ingrained in my mind, in Spanish.  All things are passing.  God never changes.  Patience obtains all things. The last time I saw my mami was

Today I had a really great conversation with my papi.  I am truly looking forward to going to visit my mami and papi this Wednesday.  It's been too long since my last visit.  This whole situation has taught me a lot, although, most of it I cannot verbalize yet.  The one theme that continues to resonate in my prayer is love.  My parents love for one another and their love for both me and my sister is so evident and abundant.  God is present.   Last week, since my husband and daughter were in Ohio I was able to spend a lot of time with my parents.  Every day I was not working I was in Oxnard, and on the days I did work, I commuted from Oxnard. This weekend, instead of going to Oxnard, I re-charged my spiritual batteries by attending the LA Religious Education Congress with 10 amazing students from the USC Caruso Catholic Center, my husband, Mike, Sofia and 40,000 of my other closest Catholic friends.  It was a weekend of prayer and community.  Fr. James Martin, SJ, the man in the

Today I was back in Los Angeles, working at USC.  However, even though I was working, I was in contact with my dad via text message most of the day.  My mom was moved out of ICU and now has her own room!  Small steps! My mami also stood (not sure if it was with or without support) for 30 minutes and sat down without support for 32 minutes.  She started acupuncture on her ears so to subdue the pain she is feeling.  The more the pain is controlled the easier it is for her to focus on recovering.   Also, today, she had voice therapy.  I can tell her voice is coming back stronger.  I was able to talk to her on the phone for a few minutes.  She is absolutely one of the strongest women I know.  I am so blessed to have her as an example of strength, perseverance, and love in my life. I received an email today from GBS International and was given contact information of two people who live in Southern California who might be of support for my family through this, they are GBS surv

I am sitting in my mami's room again as she sleeps.  She looks so peaceful.  Today, Wednesday, before I drove up from Los Angeles to visit my mami again, I did some more research on Guillain-Barre Syndrome.  I found, the Guillain-Barre Syndrome International Foundation ( http://www.gbs-cidp.org/ ). Along with my dad,  we are in the process of attempting to find a good rehabilitation center for my mami.  On the GBS International Foundation website they have links for support groups and also facilities that are renowned in care for people with GBS.  In hope of seeking the best medical advice, I have already contacted UCLA's medical center and I am in the process of looking at USC's and Cedar Siani's programs. Yesterday, Tuesday, when I was with my mami, before I left to Los Angeles so that I could work, my mami sat down in a chair for 15 minutes, all by herself!  It was tough for her because she told me that her lungs felt stiff, like maracas.  But my cousin said th