February 25th, 2013: "That homey [God] always shows up."

Today I had a really great conversation with my papi.  I am truly looking forward to going to visit my mami and papi this Wednesday.  It's been too long since my last visit.  This whole situation has taught me a lot, although, most of it I cannot verbalize yet.  The one theme that continues to resonate in my prayer is love.  My parents love for one another and their love for both me and my sister is so evident and abundant.  God is present.  

Last week, since my husband and daughter were in Ohio I was able to spend a lot of time with my parents.  Every day I was not working I was in Oxnard, and on the days I did work, I commuted from Oxnard.

This weekend, instead of going to Oxnard, I re-charged my spiritual batteries by attending the LA Religious Education Congress with 10 amazing students from the USC Caruso Catholic Center, my husband, Mike, Sofia and 40,000 of my other closest Catholic friends.  It was a weekend of prayer and community.  Fr. James Martin, SJ, the man in the collar pictured above, stated that "LA Congress is a place to get a jolt of faith".  Although I feel as if I have been strong throughout my mami's syndrome I have had moments of weakness and emotional breakdowns.  This weekend lifted me up, deepened my vocation as wife, mother, and campus minister, and strengthened my relationship with God.  I am joyful that I gave myself the space to attend this conference, when I could have just as easily let it go and not allowed God to work in me the way God did this weekend.

In the next few days my mami will be moved out of the hospital and she will move into a 24 hour physical rehabilitation facility.  My mami, papi and I have selected a place where we think she'll thrive.  She is growing stronger by the day.  From reports I have heard from my papi, she's standing a little bit longer, is moving both arms a lot better, and her strength is improving.  Besides moving to the physical rehabilitation facility my mami's next big step will be getting off of the feeding tube and eating solids.  The stronger her throat muscles get, with the additional speech therapy she will get at the rehabilitation facility, the sooner the feeding tube will be removed.  The current hospital she is in has been great with her care, however, now, she's in need of services the hospital is ill-equipped to handle.

Driving home from work today, I was listening to Fr. Greg Boyle's talk from LA Congress.  I cried.  A young man, a homey, confessed to Fr. Greg, that he had been praying.  The homey said that when he prays, "that homey [God] always shows up."  The young man who was praying to God, perhaps, had issues of abandonment due to the life he had led.  For God to be so present to him, for me was not hard to understand.  God is present to all of us, all of the time, logically, I know.  But in that moment, what struck me is that God is present, even in my struggles.  I have known, in my head, logically, that God is ever-present in my mami's struggle.  However, tonight, after some reflection on those tears and those words, I felt God holding me even tighter.  God is so present, loving, and patient.  For all of this, I am truly blessed.

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