Feb. 20th, 2011: Valentine's Day

I know this blog is about a week late but I still have a desire to write about Valentine's Day. In Catholic history, there is discrepancy on who St. Valentine's was. Some say he was a martyr of the Christian faith because he would not renounce the faith. Others say he was a priest whom was jailed for defiance of marrying Christian couples and aiding Christians whom were being persecuted during the reign of Claudius in Rome; both of these things were considered a crime. Then once in jail Valentinus (true name of St. Valentine's) attempted to convert the emperor leading to Valentinus' death. While another account states that he was a bishop in Terni where he was beheaded in a purge of priests in an effort to eradicate the faith. Since there are no clear details on who St. Valentine's was the Catholic Church in 1969 decided to drop him out of the Roman calendar and we therefore do not celebrate his feast day. However, he is known as the patron saint of love, lovers, couples, engaged couples, and happy marriages, amongst other things.

The roots of Valentine's Day are supposedly rooted in a Roman festival called Lupercalia that was celebrated on February 15th. On this day a young single man would draw a lady's name in a lottery style fashion and for one year he would have her as a sexual companion [sounds a little scandalous and sexist to me]. Pope Gelasius I decided that this custom was not of virtue so he changed the custom so that both men and women had to choose a name in a similar lottery system, however, the name was now to be that of a saint. The name they choose represented the saint they had to emulate for an entire year. St. Valentine's became the patron of this new feast (instead of Lupercus, the God whom the Romans celebrated on the festival of Lupercalia). Roman men, obviously upset that essentially they did not have a promised sexual partner for a year, still sought the affections of women on this date and would write women messages of love that included the name St. Valentine's.

This Valentine's day was the first one where I am married; and the only one Mike and I will have as a married couple without children. I should have been excited and overjoyed that I didn't have to look for a "valentine" on this day of love...I have one for as long as we both shall live. Yet, this Valentine's Day I was perturbed. For over a month before the day I began hearing about jewelry, chocolate, and flowers. I heard the whisperings of young people looking for dates [substantive or not] for this one night. Honestly, for the first time, I was annoyed with the consumerism following this supposed day of love and the pressure that it created for people around the country to "find a date" or "find a significant other to celebrate this holiday with." How can society put such pressure on everyone to purchase junk that will either spoil, get rotten, or in the case of jewelry, be bought when it's not truly needed; in my opinion expensive jewelry is an over-indulgence, I rather see people fed, housed, and given their most basic necessities than have another ring or necklace.

On the day itself there was one facebook status that caught my attention. It was from a student I worked with while I was the campus minister at the Newman Center in Albuquerque. Lily wrote, "today is not just for couples, it's a celebration of relationships, that being of whomever you wish to share it with - a friend, an animal or even cherishing your relationship with God. We all love something in our lives so cherish it today." Isn't this what we should focus on?!?! It's a day to celebrate all loving relationships! One of my most memorable Valentine's days in college was just hanging out with my girlfriends, and one guy friend, at a Panda Express for dinner. This Valentine's day Mike and I stayed home, ate left over pulled pork sandwiches, and spent time with one another. We didn't go crazy spending money, rather, we spent quality time conversing and enveloping ourselves in the love that we share.

I also think that reflecting upon our relationship with God on this day, and every day, is of utmost importance. Without God there would not be the possibility to feel the love of others. We must thank God daily for the love that we have with our family, friends, and acquaintances, while also simultaneously asking God to help us love others better.

Beyond Valentine's Day, as Christians, don't the Gospels tell us to love our neighbor, love our enemy, love everyone all of the time? Why does our love have to be contained only one day a year on a consumerist, pressured, holiday? Love all of the time. Don't take advantage of the love you have in your life. Tell the people you love that you love them as often as you can, both in actions and words. And lastly don't allow Valentine's Day to "get you down" if you don't have a date with a significant other. This is just society's way of attempting to place labels on people and to have people spend more money on junk they don't need. Cherish and relish the relationships you do have on Valentine's Day; sulking relationships you do not have, on this, in my opinion, secular holiday, does not help you cherish and value the graces that God has already placed in front of you on a daily basis.