May 11, 2007: Pavlov's Dog

In psychology, as an undergraduate, I learned about Pavlov's dog. Pavlov was a psychologist who trained dogs to behave in a certain way by introducing the same command. It is not a surprise that we also have "learned behaviors," such as, when our bladders get full we run to the restroom.

Now, what if we change our own behaviors so to change the behavior of another? What if we change the behavior of another human being by introducing a new command? Is it a form of manipulation? Or, can it be a form of self-care if the new command you evoke helps your own well-being? Or is it a combination of both? In any relationship doesn't this sound like a game people play so that they can either feel good about a certain situation? Or control a situation? Is this game moral?

As a form of self-care and possibly subconsciously as a form of manipulation, in that I wanted this man to miss me, I did not call or text my last romantic relationship for the past week. In all honesty, this weeklong 'break' truly made me feel at peace with the scenario. As much as I do still miss him I was able to focus on my own needs and myself. For me this behavior was different. Usually during the week I would text or call to either check in or see if he wanted to have lunch. I introduced a new command, avoidance. While I was on the tennis court doing my own thing today I received a text from him to have lunch. It is possible that the avoidance evoked a behavior in him that I had not really experienced since we dated. I am not sure and I will never be sure if my avoidance truly evoked the lunch. But it does make me question did I manipulate this scenario? Are my own self needs more valuable that manipluating the scenario? Is this one of those games I truly hate to play? Did he truly miss me?