Jan. 31st, 2011: Weddings...weddings...weddings...

This last week I found out about three engagements! This summer, not including the three engagements, my cousin is getting married, a good family friend is getting married, and four former students (2 other weddings) I worked with are getting married! Weddings, for me, if the couple has discerned their relationship thoughtfully and prayerfully, are one of the most exciting and grace-filled moments one can experience in their lifetime.

Honestly, I feel so blessed to have married Mike. He and I both dated some great people in our past...but none of them had everything that God had envisioned for us. There was always something within those relationships that left us both wanting more; something within us that was left untapped. We had to be patient and set aside our time lines to allow God to work within our lives. When we met in person, after a month of long emails and 2-3 hour phone conversations, we both knew that God had helped us to build a solid foundation for a deep faith-filled relationship. Our wedding day was a solidification of God's plan for our future. And the amazing part for me was that I felt God's presence that entire weekend very strongly, whether it was through the prayers stated at the wedding ceremony itself, my friends, family, or Mike. The wedding was simple; it focused on God, one another, our family and friends. In a consumerist society where a wedding day is not necessarily about God, I found myself at my wedding thinking about God constantly.

I hope and pray that the marriages that I will witness this summer will be as grace-filled as ours. Finding the person whom God created for you is a blessing. For those of you who feel called to married life but have not found the right person, yet, don't loose hope. God would not place that deep desire, vocation, in your heart, without someone in mind for you. You just need to be patient and wait for God's timing. I honestly can say I grew impatient at points in my life, waiting for God to introduce me to Mike, almost to the point of growing jaded. I always thought, well I have a MDiv, I am seeped in my faith and my family, there is no way in this world I am going to find my match...I'll have to settle for someone who is not as thrilled about their faith, or someone who cannot have a theological conversation with me, or someone who is not as passionate about social justice as myself. I thought that my standards were too high. But I am thrilled I waited for God to place the right person in my life at the right time. Nothing is impossible for God. Let us close this blog entry with a blessing for engaged couples, especially for the seven engaged couples I know, from the Catholic book of blessings.

"Lord God, the source of all love, the wise plan of your providence has brought these young people together. As they prepare themselves for the sacrament of marriage and pray for your grace, grant that, strengthened by your blessing, they may grow in their respect for one another and cherish each other with a sincere love. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen."

January 17th, 2011: I am Pregnant!

Twelve week ultrasound of
Sofia Rose

Hello!! Besides the last post on my Titi Rosie, it has been months since I have blogged! I apologize to my fans. Teehee. As many of you know I am 27 weeks pregnant today. The first trimester I was tired and nauseated all of the time. I had little energy to do anything but work, workout, cook, and sleep. The second trimester has been a lot better, health wise, but I found no time to blog due to the holidays. Now we are at the end of our second trimester...one more week until our third trimester...and I am finally finding time to blog.

As I write this blog I feel little Sofia Rose kicking and squirming. Today she kicked me ten times in less than three minutes! I have started another website just for Sofia. Primarily it will give occasional updates on how she is doing while she in my belly and it also has our registry information. The registry information at this point is not completed. We have three registries up and running but we have not finished sorting what we really need and comparing costs at all three locations. If you look at all of the sites now they are pretty sparse. Here is the website:
http://chineaandshawverbaby.ourbabychannel.com/

This particular blog is not merely about sharing the new site. The next few blogs will be about my thoughts and prayers since the start of this pregnancy.

How did we decide on Sofia Rose's name? Mike and I talked about names for pretty much the whole first trimester....some names he would "veto" others I would "veto". Then we came up with Sofia's name because of this: We like the name Sofia beacuse it means wisdom and is one of the names in the Bible that refers to the Holy Spirit. The spelling of Sofia is intentional...we like the Spanish spelling of her name. We like the middle name Rose because both of my grandmothers are named Rosa, my aunt Rose, and Mike's grandmother Rose.

The 2010 Advent season for me was particularly revealing. In the past I had thought and prayed about the vocation of motherhood but this year, since it is a reality, I am already a mother, Advent took on a whole new meaning. I am currently feeling all the baby movements that Mary also felt within her. I am also waiting in anticipation, a sense of awe, an unrelenting yes to my calling from God to be a mother, and also a sense of nervousness - which I am sure Mary felt even though it is not mentioned in the Gospels. (Every mother, no matter their age, race, religious background, no matter how ready she may feel, I believe has a sense of nervousness.)

One question I asked myself a lot in the first trimester was...am I truly ready to be a mother? On June 5th of this year Mike and I got married. It feels too quick for us to be parents. But at the same time I am 30 years old and Mike is 36. God has blessed both of us with full lives. We have both traveled, studied, made many friends, and loved our families deeply. We both have truly wanted a family, even before we met one another. Since we are older we feel a little more wisdom about life than we did when we were in our 20s. So, why not now? I reflected upon this during the Advent season. Did Mary truly feel ready? I think beyond Mary feeling ready she felt a deep sense of God calling her to be a mother. She let go of everything. She surrendered herself completely to God, including her pride and public image, to be the mother of Jesus. This is the type of love I want to embody. I want to surrender myself to God's will and allow God to use me in whatever way God sees fit. Even though I don't have as much to surrender to God as Mary did, as my circumstances are different, I not only feel the calling from God to be a mother but I am running towards God with open arms asking, what's next Lord?

Even though Advent is over, Mike and I, are still in the process of waiting. Day by day, hour by hour, Sofia is growing. These past few weeks I have felt her move more and more. What I am trying to stay with is the joy in the anticipation. Enjoying every moment of this pregnancy for me is of utmost importance. How many times in ones lifetime is one pregnant? I believe there is joy in learning, feeling, and loving every moment of the here and now.

Please, continue to pray for Sofia, Mike & I. Pray for Sofia's health and growth. Pray that as Mike and I prepare to become parents we stay healthy in mind, body, and soul so that we can be the parents that God has created us to be.

Jan. 16th, 2011: My Aunt Rosie

On Jan. 14th, 2011, a woman very dear to my heart and close to my life passed away, my Titi (aunt) Rosie. She was a woman of strength and filled with the Spirit of God. I am certain that at this stage in her journey she is with God.

Ever since I was young I have admired my Titi Rosie. She moved out to California when I was nine years old. Before she moved here I remember my mom talking to her on the phone, we were in my parents room and I was laying on my parents bed as my mother talked. She invited my Titi and my two cousins to move to California. My Titi said yes. She and my two cousins, Carmen and Jason, lived with my family for six months as the resettled in their new home in California. She created a sense of safeness and deep love from the first moment I met her. I remember her singing to me in the car. Since I was a hyper child, she sang fun songs to keep me calm during long car rides. One specific song I remember was about the Titanic. I remember her editing my English papers and teaching me how to write properly. I remember playing cards with her. If we beat her she would get mad. I remember watching movies with her, specifically Real Women Have Curves and Catch Me If You Can in her bedroom. All of these memories I will hold on for a lifetime. I knew, not only through words, that my aunt loved me with all of her heart.

Last night we had a celebration of her life service. My husband, Mike, led the service that he and I prepared. It was a powerful service about my aunt. Many people felt the love that I felt from my aunt. Her faith, wisdom, integrity, will power, passion, English writing skills, her eloquence, her ability to say what was on her mind in a non-confrontational way, and her deep compassion for all people she met was a true devotion to whom Christ created her to be.

I have been deeply affected by my aunts passing. She is the closest person in my life who has passed away. Sometimes I still think that she's around. The thing is...I know that my Titi is still with me. Her presence and her Spirit will be with me forever. I believe in the resurrection. She is with God. Having trust in God and in my aunt's presence with God helps me to feel consolation. Please pray for her soul, my family, and her close friends as we grieve the loss of her life here on earth, reflect and rejoice on her presence before she passed, and as we celebrate her presence with God.