September 24th, 2013: The Children of El Salvador

A week and a half ago I watched a movie called "Voces Inocentes/Innocent Voices".  The movie was made in 2004, 12 years after the civil war in El Salvador ended.  Voces depicts the story of children during the Salvadorian civil war (1979-1992).  During the civil war children, especially young boys, not fully understanding what was going on, had to choose an allegiance - either to the guerrillas or to the government army.  Neither group was free of violence.  To see the depiction of the thought process and emotions of these children stretched my mind.  Prior to becoming a mother I had read about child soldiers in Africa, but for some reason that was a bit intangible for me - both because I had yet to have a child of my own and because I have never been to Africa.  Something about going to El Salvador, understanding its history a little bit more, and being a mother, has given me a deeper understanding of the complexity that still lives in the minds of these children whom now are adults.  I recommend watching this movie if you want to better understand the history of El Salvador.

I am going to share some facts that were shared with me regarding cost of living and a little bit about the social reality in El Salvador.  A family of four, just for food, needs approximately $170/month.  Textile and factory workers make approximately $190/month.  Farm workers make approximately $100/month.  Those with professional degrees make between $600-$700/month.  For a family of four to have a modest living they would need to make about $700/month.  80% of all earnings goes towards commercial buys - such as clothes, food, and rent.  The other 20% goes towards healthcare and education.  Many families are single parent homes.

While in El Salvador I interacted with many children.  On Monday, August 5th our group visited a

Me with a mom of a scholarship student.

community, Las Delicias, a small campo, a semi-rual area, of 600-700 people, with urban problems, 45 minutes outside of San Salvador.  In this community people make about $4-$5/day.  If they can find work in nearby factories they can earn up to $190/month.  In this community there is one elementary school, and it is free.  However, to attend school students must have a pair of shoes and supplies for the academic year, which equates to $60 a year.  Many of the children do not attend school due to financial constraint.  There is no high school in Las Delicias.  For children to attend high school its approximately $400/year, which includes the cost of bus transportation from Las Delicias to the high school in the neighboring area.  For most of the families in the area high school is not an option therefore making college even less attainable.            

Yet there is so much hope in Las Delicias!  Here we visited one of the Maryknoll Lay Missioners sites.  Larry, the missioner works with  FUDESCA: Fundación para el Desarrollo y la Solidaridad Cástulo Antonio (FUDESCA).  This organization works on several projects, some of which include, scholarships for youth attending elementary and high schools  and young adults attending college, soccer teams - where their motto is Dios, Estudios y Deportes, computer classes, a small library is accessible to youth to read and study, jewelry making, art classes, and even a break-dancing team!  I was struck by the diversity of the programs for the youth.  Since gangs infest the streets of El Salvador it is necessary that children have healthy and life-giving alternatives - such as school and activities, like those provided by FUDESCA.  While there are barriers to overcome the poverty I saw in Las Declicas, I truly felt a sense of hope visiting this small community.

With children in La Esperanza.

The day that has had a lasting affect in my heart is Tuesday, August 6th when we visited Maryknoll Lay Missioners, Rick's site, in La Esperanza, a squatter settlement along El Salvador's abandoned railroad, 20 miles East of Cojutepeque.  During the Salvadorian civil war people fled the San Vicente area and basically squatted around these railroad tracks.  This area was probably equivalent to the worst poverty I have seen in my life - most people in this area don't have a title or own the land they live on and basic services are extremely limited - if at all existent.  Walking along side the railroad track down a dirt road one can smell the raw sewage.  We entered a small one room building - a multi-purpose chapel space - built by a base community in the area.  Here catechesis for adults and the ministries of taking care of the sick and distribution of food takes place.  In this same room children play and learn English.  Rick also works closely with the older children in the area helping them become promoters of literacy in their community.  There is no school in La Esperanza - the closest is in Cojutepeque.  Upon seeing the conditions and hearing the reality I gave everything I could to the children that surrounded me - pens, paper, rosary, a cross...everything.  I knew this "stuff" was not going to fix anything.  I knew that our visit was not going to change their reality.  But I attempted to love them in the moment.  And they have created a lasting affect in my heart and soul that cannot be removed (as I type I cry).  Retrospectively looking at the situation I now remember Rick telling us, that they never have visitors, and that our presence showed these children that they are valued and loved.  I hope I loved enough that day.   

I know we all left with heavy hearts because we know that many of these children face terrible odds of overcoming the barriers that hold them back.  This community moved my heart.  These children changed my soul.  One cannot see this reality and come back the same person.  Tonight as I was driving home and was talking to my dad on my cell phone I told him - I am too comfortable.  I said, "Papi, I just drove 60 miles - back and forth to work - how can I be okay with this when the children in El Salvador do not have access to go to a school that is 20 miles away from them?"  While I am unsure of where this experience is going to lead me and my family, I know, in the depths of my heart that I am not the same person I was before I left to El Salvador.              

In 2011 the Universidad de Centro America (UCA), a university run by the Jesuits in El Salvador, did a study asking the question, is El Salvador a country for youth?  The study concluded that due to the gang prevalence and violence, it is not.  I did learn, however, that there has been some strides of success in disarming the violence created by gangs in El Salvador.  Time magazine highlights a truce that has been made between two of the most powerful gangs in El Salvdor in an article written in 2012 (Gang Truce).  The sense that I got was that some people believe the truce is working because homicides in certain regions have lowered.  People are grateful that the truce - not more violence - is actually lowering the number of deaths.  However, some people are very skeptical that the truce is actually working.  They believe that the reports on the numbers of homicides are skewed.

Overall I am left with more questions than answers.  What is my role?  What can I do?  I received an email from Rick a few days ago with two notes from two children in his community asking me to write a letter and send pictures to them.  I knew, without thinking, that I was going to respond to these children.  Besides my long distance love of the children of El Salvador - what else am I called to do?  How am I being called to share the story of the children of El Salvador?    

September 2nd, 2013: Water, Gang Violence, Parque Cuscatlán and El Rosario Church

We were told that El Salvador is doing 50% better than all of the countries around the world and 50% worse than all of the countries around the world - when it comes to poverty, violence, education, health care, and access to resources.  We also learned that 90% of all of the drinking water in El Salvador is contaminated, therefore to have clean drinking water, people, if they can afford it, need to drink bottled water.  Many people in El Salvador do not have this luxury.  We visited many people that had a spout where water comes out of.  Depending on the community sometimes the water comes out of this spout one time every other week or one time a month.  Unfortunately those who have this spout have to constantly keep a bucket under the spout because they do not know the exact day and time the water will spring forth - and this water is not clean drinking water.  I have noticed that many developing countries I have visited have a scarcity of clean natural water.  Not having access to clean drinking water creates many health problems which can lead to other issues such as malnutrition, illnesses, inability to work or focus at school, and dehydration.  What are we going to do globally as the issue of access to clean drinking water becomes larger?  What are we doing now to save the water that we do have?       

Gang violence is very prominent in El Salvador.  This explanation on gang violence in El Salvador will be simplistic but will help my readers understand how the gang problem began.  Due to the civil war and the common "push and pull" effects of immigration [push factors such as poverty, conflict and disaster, pull factors such as employment, public benefits, and family members that might already be in the country migrants are attempting to get to] an estimated 1 million people, left El Salvador.  Many migrants left with their children.  Some people ended up in major metropolitan cities such as Los Angeles.  Work was scarce and many people who migrated to the United States continued to struggle.  Even though they were living in a more developed country the migrants were still living in poverty.  For the same reasons many American youth enter gangs, the young babies that left El Salvador - without a memory of their home country - now found themselves as young adults and were looking for protection, an identity, recognition, fellowship, and eventually became part of the gang culture.  Due to the nature of criminal gang activity in the 90s many of these gang members were arrested and then since they were not U.S. citizens they were deported to El Salvador.  "In the last 12 years, U.S. immigration authorities have logged more than 50,000 deportations of immigrants with criminal records to Central America (Maryknoll information packet)."  These young men, did not speak Spanish, did not remember their home country, and learned about gang violence in the U.S., and therefore when they returned to El Salvador this created a tight network of gang culture in El Salvador.  To this day gang violence is active.  The two main gangs in El Salvador are Mara Salvatrucha (MS-13) and the 18th Street gangs.  The gangs not only affect violence but also affect the children of El Salvador, in that children are the ones recruited to join these gangs.      

One thing that struck me while we were in El Salvador was the prominence of guns.  Outside of every store - big or small, outside of churches, and sometimes even homes, every one had a security guard with a gun.  Coming from a place in California where violence is not in my face all of the time, this was hard for me to see and be around.  Are the guns used for intimidation?  Security?  Or perhaps a subtle reminder of the blood of the war and a reflection of who truly is in charge?  I don't know.  The civil war ended 20 years ago, but I still think the effects of the war, in the living memory of those who are there, is still very real.  I am unsure of what Salvadorians think about the presence of guns everywhere, but I know that for me it was jarring and something I could not ignore.       

Two things about traveling in El Salvador that I truly miss are the notion of time and affection.  In the United States we are addicted to our cell phones and looking at our watches.  We must be efficient and timely to fit into American society.  The notion of time seemed to not exist in El Salvador.  It allowed me to be present to those I was interacting with in a more intentional way.  One of the things that I experienced once I came back from El Salvador was the reverse culture shock of not hugging people and kissing them on the cheek.  In El Salvador every person I met I hugged and kissed.  This is very common in Latin American countries, so it is something I am very used to, since my family is Puerto Rican and Cuban.  When I got back to the United States and people were "stand offish" and needed

Mike at Parque Cuscatlán

personal space I struggled.      

El Rosario Church - Stations of the Cross

On Sunday, August 4th we went to Parque Cuscatlán, mass at El Rosario Church, and we spent some time praying at Romero's tomb in the Cathedral.  In Parque Cuscatlán we saw a memorial wall with 43 panels where those killed or disappeared are remembered.  Then we went to El Rosario Church in San Salvador.  From the outside the Church didn't look like much but once inside you could tell it had a post-Vatican II feel - the seating was unique, the natural light and stained glass was beautiful and the stations of the cross were made with rod iron in a very contemporary rendition.  While I don't remember the exact preaching the priest said that day, I do remember the Dominican friar preaching about distribution of wealth and making sure that we not only take care of ourselves and those in our immediate families but also those whom might not have the same resources that we do (Luke 12: 13-21).  His preaching was poignant and challenging.    

Just outside El Rosario is Plaza Libertad.  During the civil war on October 29th, 1979 there was a massacre in this plaza - campesinos (people from the country) were peacefully protesting the oppression of the government in the plaza and the military opened fire.  People ran for cover in El Rosario Church.  Those running into the church brought bodies with them in hope of either burying them or attempting to resuscitate them.  Once the church was full the doors were shut.  You can still see bullet holes in the church doors.

bullet holes in the door

Twenty-one people died attempting to get into the church.  The people who made it into the church had to stay in there for a few days until Archbishop Romero finally convinced the military to back off.  Due to this waiting period, and the smell of dead bodies in the church, the people whom survived decided to lift up the tiles and to bury the dead.

My next post will focus on my experience of the Catholic Church in El Salvador and Monsignor Romero.  

September 2nd, 2013: Santiago Nonualco

Ever since my trip to Peru, Bolivia, and Argentina in 2008, Maryknoll Lay Missioners (http://www.mklm.org/) have been in my heart.  The core values of of the missioners: Gospel values, option for the poor, conversion, witness, crossing cross cultural boundaries, community, forming ecclesial teams, and building bridges with the U.S. church, really resonate with me.  This particular trip was sponsored by both Maryknoll and JustFaith Ministries (http://www.justfaith.org/).  Maryknoll Lay Missioners were the main tour guides for us while were were in El Salvador.  Maryknoll has been in El Salvador for almost 50 years.  

On Saturday, August 3rd, we visited the site of where four church women - two Maryknoll Sisters, one Ursline sister and a lay missioner - Jean Donovan, were martyred in Santiago Nonualco.  One of the things that struck me most was that we met a priest, Fr. John, who was on site the day the women were found dead.  This same priest had also carried Romero's casket just nine months prior to the women dying.  Fr. John's living testimony was moving and passionate.  These women were his friends.  The story of how these women died was chilling.  It's hard to grapple with how humanity can be so cruel and insensitive.  I found an article, written by a sister who served in El Salvador at the same time as Ita Ford, Jean Donovan, Maura Clarke, and Dorothy Kazel.  Her story will provide you with more insight into what happened the evening of December 2nd, 1980.  

Article from Maryknoll Sister Madeline Dorsey, who served in El Salvador at the time, reflects on those harrowing days and the deaths of her friends and colleagues.     

Prior to their brutal murders all of these women had several chances to leave El Salvador, but they did not.  They felt a deep calling to stay present and accompany those whom were suffering from the effects of the civil war.  It made me question what would I do if I felt threatened because of the ministry I was doing?  It made me reflect upon my time at Annunciation House and leaving after an immigrant, Juan Patricio, was brutally killed.  I left early from my year of volunteer work because of consequences that could have happened, but never did.  I was not even being physically threatened.  I was given an option out and I took it.  Yet these women, in the face of a lot of violence stayed.  At one point Jean Donovan said, "Several times I have decided to leave El Salvador.  I almost could, except for the children, the poor, bruised victims of this insanity.  Who would care for them?  Whose heart could be so staunch as to favor the reasonable thing in a sea of their tears and loneliness?  Not mine, dear friend, not mind."  Do I feel guilt for leaving Annunciation House when I did?  10 years later, even though I can rationally give reasons as to why I left, I can honestly say that on some level I do carry guilt for not standing up for what I do believe in.

What about hope?  Violence is still very prominent in El Salvador.  El Salvador ranks first among the countries in Latin America in violent deaths, 370 homicides a month.  Yet, the presence of those accompanying the people on the margins is alive and relevant.  The humility and love the lay missioners have is akin to the love Christ has for each one of us.  I can only hope that God can give me the grace to aspire to love as deeply and to not be afraid of adversity, even if it means my life.    

September 2nd, 2013: El Salvador

Ever since I learned about Oscar Romero and the Jesuit martyrs, El Salvador has been a place I have wanted to visit.  Prior to going I knew that El Salvador was sacred ground.

Mike and I arrived to El Salvador on Friday, August 2nd.  Once the tires of the plane hit the tarmac tears started to form in my eyes.  I had arrived.  Looking out the airplane windows I saw endless green, beauty, and serenity.  It was hard for me to fully imagine the bloodshed that had occurred in such a gorgeous place during the Salvadorian civil war.   

At the Retreat Center.

Going through security, customs, and gathering our luggage was easy.  Mike and I had a cute conversation with the lady whom stamped our passports.  We met up with our group outside of the airport near the Subway.  Our group was quite easy to spot because from what I could tell we were the only Americans there that afternoon.  While finding our bus was a little chaotic, everything else about the airport and the drive to the retreat center, in Planes de Renderos, was quite simple.  Again what struck me most was the beauty of the landscape.  I instantly felt at home and welcomed in El Salvador.  Perhaps it is a spiritual home for me since I feel so connected to Romero's message of solidarity with those on the margins.  Or perhaps an intellectual curiosity and connection to the Jesuit martyrs since my own spirituality is Ignatian and I do classify myself as a theologian that thinks critically, yet simply, and always in light of the Gospels message of keeping the voiceless at the forefront.  Regardless of the why, the connection with El Salvador is real and deep.

To give those who read my blog a very brief history of El Salvador will be very important.  El Salavdor's recent history is very violent.  In 1880 the main cash crop from El Salvador was coffee, bringing in 95% of the countries income.  However only 2% of the entire population benefited from this.  Tensions from the class inequality grew.  In 1932 the peasant subsistence farmers, many of whom were indigenous, attempted an uprising, but were stopped by the military government.  This lead to genocidal massacre - killing between 10,000-40,000 people.  Military dictators then began to rule El Salvador until 1979.     

The struggle continued through the 1970s.  Depending on your source some say the civil war was brewing since the 30s - since this is when the repression was at its first boiling point, others say that it broke out in the 70s, while others pin 1980 as the official date of the civil war.  "In the 1970s discontent with social inequalities, a poor economy, and the repressive measures of dictatorship led to civil war between the government and leftist anti-government guerrilla units, whose leading group was the Farabundo Marti National Liberation Front (FMLN).  The U.S. intervened on the side of the military dictatorship, despite its scores of human rights violations.  US military aid reached the level of $1 million per day through the late 70s and early 80s.  Between 1979 and 1981, right-wing death squads backed by the military killed about 30,000 people (Maryknoll Trip Preparation Book)."  After approximately 75,000 people were killed, the civil war eventually ended on January, 16th, 1992 when a peace agreement was reached.

Prior to going to El Salvador - I knew all of the history intellectually.  But while I was there the history took root in my very being.  I felt and saw the struggle between those who have everything they need and those who are struggling to survive.  I understood why people revolted against their own government in a much more palpable way.  Honestly, I still saw suppression, extortion, corruption, and felt the presence of violence, although I never once felt afraid or threatened.  What about hope?  Yes, I did see and feel that presence also - this is what I hope my future blogs will be about.

In these next few blogs I will be giving my readers a sense of what I learned, saw and felt when I visited El Salvador.  This trip has changed me.  It has made me a little bit more compassionate.  It has made me more outwardly spoken.  It has helped me to tell others exactly how I feel because I have learned, again, that life is too short to not love deeply.  I hope that these next few blogs move you to learn more about El Salvador, the people, culture, and history.  And I hope this learning moves you towards prayer, love and action.