Feb. 28, 2010: Haiti & Chile, Our Response

People walking in rubble in the market area in Port-Au-Prince in Haiti on Jan. 18th, 2010
Picture taken from the Internet

Yesterday I was watching a documentary on Canada's response to what happened to the United States on September 11th, 2001. Within two hours of the time that the second plane hit the second tower in New York City all of the airspace in the United States was closed. Every plane in the United State was on the ground. This meant that the planes that were flying to the United States over the Atlantic Ocean, whom could not turn back to Europe, had to continue on their air route but be redirected. Most of them were directed towards Canada. The documentary focused on the city of Gander. Gander in on an island named Newfoundland on the far East of Canada. The city of Gander has a population of 10,000 people. NAV Canada, the equivalent of the United States FAA, redirected 239 air crafts to Western Canada. On September 11th, 2001 the city of Gander, within hours, received 39 redirected jumbo jets, carrying some 6,600 passengers. Imagine the city you are currently living in almost doubling in size in a matter of hours! The city of Gander did not have enough hotels to house people so they as a city opened their churches, schools, and gathering hall doors to the new influx of people. They came together as a community and fed people. They opened their grocery and clothing stores free of charge to the people who were stranded and distressed about what was going on in their country. The city of Gander, for two days, was a safe haven for people in the face of a national disaster. The city of Gander needs to be an example of how people should respond in the face of fear, disaster, and hurt. We need to have an open heart to Christ whom is present in front of us.

How should, we therefore, respond in the face of natural disasters around our world? Yesterday, Chile was hit with a 8.8 earthquake. For those of you who do not know what an earthquake feels like an 8.8 is a huge earthquake. The largest earthquake I have felt in California was in 1994. The earthquake was a 6.7, centered in Northridge, about 50 miles away from my hometown of Oxnard. On the earthquake scale each .1 multiplies the shake by 10. The 6.7 I felt shook my entire house, things were knocked off of the walls, electricity for a short amount of time was not working and I was so scared I ran into my parents bedroom. I cannot imagine what an 8.8 earthquake would feel like. The advantage that Chile has is that economically they are more sound than a place like Haiti. Also, since 1973 Chile has had 13 tremors greater than 7.0, their government has forced builders to adhere to rigorous building codes. However, regardless of the socioeconomic status and the preparedness one has for earthquakes the people of Chile need our prayers and whatever we can give in aide.

What about the people in Haiti? How are they doing after their 7.0 earthquake? The country of Haiti is a much different scenario when it comes to how well they were prepared for natural disasters. Haiti is the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. Its infrastructure is bleak and its government (from what I have read) is corrupt. I have a friend who just got back from doing some relief work in Haiti and he said it was one of the most powerful yet difficult things he has done and seen in his lifetime. At the end of March the United Nations in New York City will host donors in a discussion to formulate a plan on what the next steps they will take to help the people of Haiti in their recovery. However, I wonder if the end of March will be a little too late. The rainy season in Haiti begins in March. With all of the rubble and the uplifted soil flooding is not merely a concern it is going to occur. What are the Haitian people going to do? From my studies I know that countries cannot be fixed by outside countries. People from within need to make the changes. Power and money from the outside are only temporary fixes. The nation and its peoples need to come together to build their country. And honestly I trust that the people of Haiti have already begun this journey. They will make their country viable and sustainable. Where there is death there is a resurrection. However, I am not going to pretend I know all of the answers. I don't know much of Haitian history or politics. And poverty in general is something I don't quite understand or fully grasp, even though I have seen it face to face. Intense poverty, like that of Haiti, is complex, and attempting to fix that deep of an issue perplexes me. My heart and prayers go out to them. However, in the face of this issue, what should our response be? Again, my mind goes back to the way the Canadians, post 9/11, treated us. How can we be hospitable and loving in a time of deep grief, sadness, and disaster? From what I have learned donating money to Catholic Relief Services, Jesuit Refugee Services or similar organizations seems to be the most helpful. If there is a money transaction the nonprofit organisation can purchase what they need over in the country of disaster, or at least closer to the point of destination, without or with little cost in shipping. At the Aquinas Newman Center in Albuquerque there is a woman, Deborah Thomas, and a group of volunteers who call themselves, "Comfort for Haiti's Children" whom have made and received donations of blankets to send to the children of Haiti. They have sent over at least 100 blankets with delegations headed to Haiti. However I know they are in need of funding to send these blankets. If you can make a donation please email Deborah at adthomas74@msn.com. These are two ways in which you can help the people of Haiti. It is obvious that this country still needs our support and prayers. What are you going to do when you see Jesus in front of you?

Feb. 24, 2010: Power

"Not by might, nor by power but by my Spirit, says your God" (Zechariah, 4:6).

Power. What is it and why don't we acknowledge we have it even though we do? As middle class citizens of the United States (really if we look globally we are much richer than middle class) and as people who "have", even if we don't realize it, we have power. We have the power to make choices, power to go to school, power to spend money the way we want to, power to vote, power to choose how we are going to spend our day, power to say who can and cannot cross our borders...and the list goes on. We are blessed to have this power. But to have power means that we also bare the responsibility of using the power when appropriate.

The easiest place for me to start discussion about the issue of power is when it comes to social justice issues. Many people who are in poverty throughout our world do not have the resources to advocate for themselves due to the fact that their worldview is dictated by what occurs to them hourly. They are trying to figure out what and when their next meal is going to be versus trying to access their situation to get them out of the cycle of poverty. I, therefore, being a person with power, have the responsibility, time, and knowledge to care and do something proactive to help those around me who live in poverty. I would go as far to say that this is a mandate from God, "to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me (Mt 25:45)". If we ignore those in need we are negating the power we have to change the system in which people are entrenched in or something as simple as feeding someone who is hungry. Both systemic changes and charity are needed to make our world a better place for all to live. This cannot occur if us, the people in power, do not change our behaviors, our way of spending, and our selfish way of being in this world.

Our families. This one is complicated because a family is a unit where one thinks that power should not be a topic of concern nor should it be a way in which to be in relationship. In our faith the family unit is one of the most sacred aspects. It is where we first learn about our faith. It is supposed to model the Holy Family. There are teachings in our faith that talk about upholding and taking care of the family unit because it is where being a Christian community first begins. If there is disunity in family how are we supposed to model community in a broader sense as church? In our society, I know, this is not an easy one to swallow. There is a lot of disunity in families. Some of that disunity occurs due to power. When one person has power over another person relationships stagnate and people are not able to reach their full God given potential. Now when a child is small it makes sense for a parent to set rules and teach their children about morality. In that sense a parent has the responsibility of helping to shape the morality and being of their child. It is a form of power. And even this type of power must not be abused. Ultimately, I believe that we should not have power over our sisters, brothers, or parents. Prayer, discussion, and openness to love must take precedence. However I also believe that we should have the strength to speak out and discuss issues within families that are difficult, especially in the arenas of morality and faith. This is where integrity comes in. We must use our voice, our power, to discuss with family members what is in our mind and hearts so that we can grow closer to the image of whom we are called to be. If we bottle up what is in our hearts and mind then truth will have a more difficult way of coming forward. As stated earlier I believe that God put us in relationship to our families so that we could embody the Holy Family. Even though the scriptures skip over Jesus teenage years I bet you that Jesus, Mary and Joseph, had some heart to heart conversations where they did not all agree. Yet, listening, heart to heart, they allowed the power of God, truth, to seep through their discussions and ultimately came to decisions. Power in the sense of "having power over" is not healthy in any relationship but power in the sense of using your knowledge and heart to have discussions that can lead to conversion is where power in families can be useful. I think what is key, however, is you being open to conversion instead of you attempting to convert another. It is when we are open for conversion when others feel safe to also be open for conversion themselves.

Before and when we acknowledge we have power we must pray. We must ask God for the guidance on how to utilize our power to God's glory. When in discussion with others we must not worry about being right or wrong. Instead we must focus and feel the consolation of God and God's truth. That in itself should give us the inner peace we are all seeking. Why do we focus so much on ourselves, being right, and trying and control so much around us? I believe its fear. Fear of both not being in control and not knowing what is going to occur if we don't try to attempt to carve out the future. I think fear instigates us to use our power in ways that are not beneficial, either by misusing our power or by neglecting to use our power. If we truly trusted God there would be no need to fear because we would know and trust that God is in control. Who better else to trust?

Feb. 23, 2010: Where is God Calling Me?

I have been interacting with a lot of people lately who are discerning what their next step in life should be. Discernment about what our true vocation is, from my experience, seems to be somewhat never ending. This is not to say that those who are currently seeking what their next step in life should be are in a place that is not important. What I think is ultimately important is that we continuously remind ourselves that God is in control. We can make a decision and it could be right or wrong (although in my book things are not as clear as right or wrong). If the decision is not the right decision God will steer us back if we truly listen to what God is saying.

Ever since I was a small child I dreamed of being a pediatrician. I love kids. I wanted to work with them and heal them. That is why I wanted to go to University of California, San Diego and be pre-med. UCSD is one of the best schools in California for pre-medical education. I remember vividly laying in bed one night in high school and asking God to help the admissions people at UCSD accept me. I bargained with God saying, "if you get me in to UCSD I will go to church every Sunday". Little did I know that this bargain would cost me my life, in a good way.

I got into UCSD and decided to be pre-med with a major in psychology. The first year was a struggle on many levels. I was not good at chemistry, biology, or math. I was doing horrible academically. Socially I was struggling also. My best friend from high school and I decided to room together. That was a mistake. We clashed a lot. In the midst of trying to find ourselves in college both her and I were holding onto who the other person was in high school. We were changing in good ways but we were not allowing the other to grow. It was a very hard year.

Then I met a Cuban girl, Michelle. She noticed that I was struggling so she invited me to go to church with her. To get out of my dorm and out of my head I said yes. We went to the Catholic Community, Newman Center, at UCSD that Sunday. I stepped in and I remember immediately feeling at home. It did not hurt that there was a really cute guy in the choir that caught my attention. God works in mysterious ways. I always joke that the cute choir guy is what hooked me to come back to church every Sunday. Obviously it was God that was helping me keep my promise.

Academically, as stated above, I was struggling. I did not know what to do. I started to discern (without even really knowing that term) what my true vocation was. I decided to not be pre-med and instead go into nutrition and dietetics. Then I realized I still had to take those science and math classes so I was not sure what to do. My gifts and talents were not in the sciences. I decided to stick with my major of psychology, drop the pre-med, and see where that would take me.

At Newman I was thriving. I became a student minister (similar to a peer campus minister) my sophomore year and I was also confirmed my sophomore year. My best friends were at church. I was praying like I had never prayed before. I had a relationship with God that was new-found. I began to own my faith. It was an unbelievable feeling. God became the center of everything for me. This is when I started to pray about where was God calling me instead of where I was feeling I should go. For two years I discerned what God was calling me to do. Part of that discernment took me through considering religious life. During my senior year after much prayer, discussions with my close friends, and family, and really reflecting upon my life with God I discerned that I still was not sure where God was calling me. So I decided to volunteer for a year since I have always had a deep passion for social justice (topic of another blog). In prayer I decided that this opportunity would give me time to discern where God was truly calling me as well as give me a sense of full time ministry in something I was passionate about. During that year I felt called to do full time ministry but I knew that to do full time ministry in the Catholic Church I needed to become educated in our faith. While volunteering I applied for my Master in Divinity (the same degree priests get before they are ordained). Throughout this whole discernment there were two things that were truly sticking out for me, 1) my wonderful experience at the Newman Center in San Diego, and 2) my passion for social justice. After much prayer and discernment I felt God was calling me to provide a good campus ministry experience for others somewhere else. How did I know this was where I was called? As a student at UNM's Newman Center said this weekend, in the best possible way, God is the best nagger out there. God was nudging my heart and I could not get rid of the nudging.

How do I know this was the right decision? I knew God was calling me to where I am today because I truly have a sense of joy when I see God working in the lives of the students. My heart leaps when I hear students say that Newman is a home away from home for them. I cry when I see them get excited about their faith. I know I am in the right place because when something is said about the students that is unjust I am the first to stand up for them and defend them. At the start of this blog I wrote that discernment is something that is ongoing. What do I mean by this? Every day I wake up and I ask myself do I still feel as if God is calling me to do campus ministry? Today I can say I do feel called to campus ministry. However I do feel that God is also calling me towards something that is more focused in social justice. Where and when this nudge will take me I am unsure. God will make things clear in God's own time.

(This is only one aspect of vocation. There is also the aspect of how is God calling me to be in relationship with others? Am I called to be religious, single, married? These aspects will probably be discussed in another blog.)

Feb. 17, 2010: Fasting

"In my fast, make me an empty bowl - that you may fill the hallow space in me with love." - a portion of "In My Prayer" by Attique Swati of Pakistan from the book Prayer Without Borders, page 32, published by Catholic Relief Services in 2004.

I just got back from my JustFaith group at Immaculate Conception parish in downtown Albuquerque. In the session we talked about Catholic Relief Services (www.crs.org) and what they do as an organization. We also read a part of Pope Benedict XVI's Caritas in Veritate (Charity in Truth). Appropriately, on Ash Wednesday, one of the main themes for this evenings JustFaith was world hunger. How can my "empty bowl" be filled with God's love?

Those who have recently met me would never know that I actually was one hundred pounds heavier about seven years ago. I was gluttonous when it came to food. I ate to feel loved. Food was my constant comfort. When I was in graduate school something clicked in my heart. Why was I allowing food to fill my heart? How could I, a person so passionate about justice, consume more than my fair share when others go hungry every day? How could I let food take the place of God in my heart? Thank goodness God blessed me with the revelation that food cannot love me the way God can love me. To love God was to respect and to take care of what God has blessed me with. Seven years go to let go of my obsession with food was to literally empty my bowl so that I could allow God into my life in a deeper way.

Lent is a time of conversion. A time where we allow God to work in our lives so that we can become closer to whom Christ created us to be. To allow ourselves to convert we must let go of something in our lives that is "sinful". We must let go of something in order to convert our lives towards becoming more Christ-like. One of the three pillars of Lent is fasting(fasting, prayer, almsgiving). We fast so to change our behavior. Fasting can aid us in prayer. The pangs of hunger can makes us more acutely aware of our hunger for God. It also makes us more aware of people who go without food and who live in poverty. It links us to our Baptismal call to show and share the love of God with others in our world who are suffering. Fasting should move us towards alleviating the suffering of others.

Jesus, before he entered into his public ministry, fasted in the dessert for 40 days (Matthew 4:1-2). During this time Jesus was preparing Himself for the journey ahead, relying solely on God to sustain Him. During this season of Lent how are you allowing God to solely sustain you? How are you allowing your fast to fill you with the love of God?

January 9, 2008: Seeking the Light of Christ

“In a situation where habits, established institutions, social and economic structures are leading us to destruction, Christ is our one hope. In quietness and in unexpected places Christ is bringing something new to birth, something we cannot foresee and build our plans upon” (Christian Existence in a World of Limits, John B. Cobb, Jr). In Kenya, the bodies of children are being piled up in a Nairobi morgue, Churches are being burned, and people are running around with machetes. It is a country in the midst of a huge political crisis. In Pakistan, a few weeks ago, the former prime minister, Harvard and Oxford educated, Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. Voting in Pakistan’s democratic government has been put on hold. In the Middle East, regardless of your opinion on the war, civil unrest and consistent violence are realities no one can escape. Yet both the Gospel of Matthew and Isaiah today tell us “the people who walk in darkness have seen a great light.” What is “the darkness”? Who defines “the darkness”? Is “the darkness” actual sin, a will-full thought, desire, word, action, or omission forbidden by the law of God made by an individual? Or is “the darkness”, sin that is inflicted on another caused by social sin, a sin committed on a larger scale from a community or a society? “How can people of conscience and faith be at peace with themselves or their society knowing what their comfort costs others?” (Gracias!: A Latin American Journal, Henri Nouwen). The reality is that many of us live in ubiquitous comfort, pseudo- security, we are quick to accumulate, and are profligate. Have we, affluent middle class Americans, been avoiding the cross for too long? Gaudium et Spes, a document of the Second Vatican Council and Catholic Social Teaching, calls us to reflect and convert our consumerist ways by stating that we are called to live in the world but not be of it. With so much suffering already rampant in this world, how do we take up the way of the cross by embracing poverty without intentionally inflicting suffering? For ourselves and for the sake of others in our world we must change our priorities towards what the Gospels call us to. We can do this by being advocates, seeking and fighting for the equality of basic human needs for all peoples so that the dignity of each person, created by God, can be preserved. However, to become better advocates, embracing poverty as a lifestyle, by being aware of issues of poverty and actually being frugal with our consumption, whether it be by food, money, or material processions, is what the Gospel’s call us to embrace. The liberation and resurrection of our true selves and others cannot be realized without the conversion and death of old ways. “To live by faith is to live in readiness to subordinate our past plans and projects, even those undertaken in obedience to Christ, to the new word that is Christ today…[we must be open] to the transformation of our imagination” (Christian Existence in a World of Limits, John B. Cobb, Jr). This is when we will see God’s true light.

January 1, 2008: Excess Baggage

Weddings! What is it about these life changing events that affect everyone who attends them in either a positive or negative way? We all know that whatever you bring to a situation affects how you will react. Baggage is a good term for this. People who are married may not understand this next statement - being a single women, just leaving a relationship, and being in a wedding is the pits. Watching a couple commit vows of eternal love to one another and to God when one does not even see the potential for romantic love at the present is a difficult conundrum.

This analogy will drive this point home. Imagine standing behind the bride during the bouquet toss, no one is in front of you...then in slow motion you see the bouquet falling right into your hands, you feel the roses touch your finger tips...then out of no where someone - a woman desperate to get married - snatches the bouquet out of your hands. Well I don't have to imagine this...it happened tonight. It's almost as if romantic love is at my reach yet something, a bouquet snatcher, always finds a way to take it away. I blew this off with..."I am not in a hurry to get married." While there is truth in my statement, at the same time I do struggle with the questions, but where and who is he? Others struggle with the question, why not now? I think the bouquet snatcher is a perfect analogy to women who ask these or similar questions.

I've never had difficulties with going to weddings - but this weekend I was asked to be present at a wedding. A friend was getting married - to a man whom I hear she was not "in love" with. Not only was I going to the wedding, but I was also in the wedding. Weeks prior to this day I was dreading the occasion. I talked to several of my single friends about going to a wedding as a "single" and all of them had similar views on this topic...simply stated, "it sucks!"

Even though this event was supposed to be love filled for some reason I did not feel romatnic love between the couple really present. Sadly, this made me feel more comfortable with the idea of being there. I wonder if the event itself was not full of love or if it was just my projection of a deep rooted emptiness that has taken root within me. Was it my baggage that was allowing me to become comfortable in an otherwise uncomfortable situation? I noticed a lot of ways single women were coping with this. Some were crying, others drinking, recoiling, or dancing. How can a single woman, who is smart, beautiful, and confident - completely loveable - get through weddings? What is it that makes it so uncomfortable for us as single people to get through weddings? I wonder if it has to do with the same or similar reasons as to why a bride might "jump the gun" and get married to a man she doesn't love.

This brings me to another thought, why did my friend settle for a man she was not in love with? Was it for stability? To get away from a family situation at home? Is it because in her mind she had pictured herself married at this age and felt as if she had to move forward on this 'dream' or if not it would never become a reality? Ego? Fear? Are these things that motivate people to get married prematurely? Then, once one is married, a family member told me today, sometimes it seems as if your husband does not exist! He's off doing his own things, which is not bad, but you have to be able to embrace your 'singleness' even in a committed relationship. Is it a false hope that 'marriage' will fill a sense of deep rooted loneliness?

So, do single people struggle with being at a wedding because of similar issues as someone who "jumps the gun" to get married? Fear that it might never happen? Pride that we thought we'd be married by now but circumstance has made it so that this has not occurred - so we're struggling with our own pride? Maybe its anger - anger that it has not happened or anger at a past love? Ultimately, again, whatever baggage we bring to a scenario dictates how the present situation will be viewed and how it will affect us. The challenge with all of this wedding stuff is to not over analyze why we as single people are not married, because we are loveable, but to enjoy and embrace our singleness at these moments. We have to remember that it is not a curse to be single. It is a time when we can explore ourselves, meet and get to know tons of people and enjoy the world without much commitment to anyone or anything - in a sense isn't that liberating?

September 20, 2007: Space

Space. A double entendre. Space as in distance. Space as in physical location. What creates a space? Objects, color, shape, texture, sounds, taste, smell. All of these things create a physical space. Memories - things that are beyond any designers imagination, also creates a space. Good, sad, joy filled, scary, heart warming, and heart breaking memories creates a space. How does one change a space that breaks your heart every time you enter it? How can one erase memories, good memories, from any space? Simultaneously, when I moved into my new duplex I was in the midst of beginning a fantastic relationship. The space I am in right now grew into becoming memories of an blooming relationship. In a sense, even though he did not live with me, the space became "our" space because we spent a lot of time there. Beyond my control the relationship ended. Amongst the many questions and emotions I am feeling on thing I struggle with is, how can I now change "our" space into "my" space? I cannot escape the memories. I cannot escape that good space. So what do I do? No memory creates a bad or sour space. Yet in the process of letting go I must change the space while still savoring the cherished memories.

What about space as in distance? There is a lot of distance between many of the people I love and myself. My parents, my best friend, and close friends are scattered around the country. I have not talked or heard from a man I love for over a week. What does this space do? Does it bring us closer? Does it tear us apart? What it does to me is tear me up inside. The space creates an ache in my heart. Yet, I know, space can bring about good.