Jan. 31st, 2011: Weddings...weddings...weddings...

This last week I found out about three engagements! This summer, not including the three engagements, my cousin is getting married, a good family friend is getting married, and four former students (2 other weddings) I worked with are getting married! Weddings, for me, if the couple has discerned their relationship thoughtfully and prayerfully, are one of the most exciting and grace-filled moments one can experience in their lifetime.

Honestly, I feel so blessed to have married Mike. He and I both dated some great people in our past...but none of them had everything that God had envisioned for us. There was always something within those relationships that left us both wanting more; something within us that was left untapped. We had to be patient and set aside our time lines to allow God to work within our lives. When we met in person, after a month of long emails and 2-3 hour phone conversations, we both knew that God had helped us to build a solid foundation for a deep faith-filled relationship. Our wedding day was a solidification of God's plan for our future. And the amazing part for me was that I felt God's presence that entire weekend very strongly, whether it was through the prayers stated at the wedding ceremony itself, my friends, family, or Mike. The wedding was simple; it focused on God, one another, our family and friends. In a consumerist society where a wedding day is not necessarily about God, I found myself at my wedding thinking about God constantly.

I hope and pray that the marriages that I will witness this summer will be as grace-filled as ours. Finding the person whom God created for you is a blessing. For those of you who feel called to married life but have not found the right person, yet, don't loose hope. God would not place that deep desire, vocation, in your heart, without someone in mind for you. You just need to be patient and wait for God's timing. I honestly can say I grew impatient at points in my life, waiting for God to introduce me to Mike, almost to the point of growing jaded. I always thought, well I have a MDiv, I am seeped in my faith and my family, there is no way in this world I am going to find my match...I'll have to settle for someone who is not as thrilled about their faith, or someone who cannot have a theological conversation with me, or someone who is not as passionate about social justice as myself. I thought that my standards were too high. But I am thrilled I waited for God to place the right person in my life at the right time. Nothing is impossible for God. Let us close this blog entry with a blessing for engaged couples, especially for the seven engaged couples I know, from the Catholic book of blessings.

"Lord God, the source of all love, the wise plan of your providence has brought these young people together. As they prepare themselves for the sacrament of marriage and pray for your grace, grant that, strengthened by your blessing, they may grow in their respect for one another and cherish each other with a sincere love. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen."

January 17th, 2011: I am Pregnant!

Twelve week ultrasound of
Sofia Rose

Hello!! Besides the last post on my Titi Rosie, it has been months since I have blogged! I apologize to my fans. Teehee. As many of you know I am 27 weeks pregnant today. The first trimester I was tired and nauseated all of the time. I had little energy to do anything but work, workout, cook, and sleep. The second trimester has been a lot better, health wise, but I found no time to blog due to the holidays. Now we are at the end of our second trimester...one more week until our third trimester...and I am finally finding time to blog.

As I write this blog I feel little Sofia Rose kicking and squirming. Today she kicked me ten times in less than three minutes! I have started another website just for Sofia. Primarily it will give occasional updates on how she is doing while she in my belly and it also has our registry information. The registry information at this point is not completed. We have three registries up and running but we have not finished sorting what we really need and comparing costs at all three locations. If you look at all of the sites now they are pretty sparse. Here is the website:
http://chineaandshawverbaby.ourbabychannel.com/

This particular blog is not merely about sharing the new site. The next few blogs will be about my thoughts and prayers since the start of this pregnancy.

How did we decide on Sofia Rose's name? Mike and I talked about names for pretty much the whole first trimester....some names he would "veto" others I would "veto". Then we came up with Sofia's name because of this: We like the name Sofia beacuse it means wisdom and is one of the names in the Bible that refers to the Holy Spirit. The spelling of Sofia is intentional...we like the Spanish spelling of her name. We like the middle name Rose because both of my grandmothers are named Rosa, my aunt Rose, and Mike's grandmother Rose.

The 2010 Advent season for me was particularly revealing. In the past I had thought and prayed about the vocation of motherhood but this year, since it is a reality, I am already a mother, Advent took on a whole new meaning. I am currently feeling all the baby movements that Mary also felt within her. I am also waiting in anticipation, a sense of awe, an unrelenting yes to my calling from God to be a mother, and also a sense of nervousness - which I am sure Mary felt even though it is not mentioned in the Gospels. (Every mother, no matter their age, race, religious background, no matter how ready she may feel, I believe has a sense of nervousness.)

One question I asked myself a lot in the first trimester was...am I truly ready to be a mother? On June 5th of this year Mike and I got married. It feels too quick for us to be parents. But at the same time I am 30 years old and Mike is 36. God has blessed both of us with full lives. We have both traveled, studied, made many friends, and loved our families deeply. We both have truly wanted a family, even before we met one another. Since we are older we feel a little more wisdom about life than we did when we were in our 20s. So, why not now? I reflected upon this during the Advent season. Did Mary truly feel ready? I think beyond Mary feeling ready she felt a deep sense of God calling her to be a mother. She let go of everything. She surrendered herself completely to God, including her pride and public image, to be the mother of Jesus. This is the type of love I want to embody. I want to surrender myself to God's will and allow God to use me in whatever way God sees fit. Even though I don't have as much to surrender to God as Mary did, as my circumstances are different, I not only feel the calling from God to be a mother but I am running towards God with open arms asking, what's next Lord?

Even though Advent is over, Mike and I, are still in the process of waiting. Day by day, hour by hour, Sofia is growing. These past few weeks I have felt her move more and more. What I am trying to stay with is the joy in the anticipation. Enjoying every moment of this pregnancy for me is of utmost importance. How many times in ones lifetime is one pregnant? I believe there is joy in learning, feeling, and loving every moment of the here and now.

Please, continue to pray for Sofia, Mike & I. Pray for Sofia's health and growth. Pray that as Mike and I prepare to become parents we stay healthy in mind, body, and soul so that we can be the parents that God has created us to be.

Jan. 16th, 2011: My Aunt Rosie

On Jan. 14th, 2011, a woman very dear to my heart and close to my life passed away, my Titi (aunt) Rosie. She was a woman of strength and filled with the Spirit of God. I am certain that at this stage in her journey she is with God.

Ever since I was young I have admired my Titi Rosie. She moved out to California when I was nine years old. Before she moved here I remember my mom talking to her on the phone, we were in my parents room and I was laying on my parents bed as my mother talked. She invited my Titi and my two cousins to move to California. My Titi said yes. She and my two cousins, Carmen and Jason, lived with my family for six months as the resettled in their new home in California. She created a sense of safeness and deep love from the first moment I met her. I remember her singing to me in the car. Since I was a hyper child, she sang fun songs to keep me calm during long car rides. One specific song I remember was about the Titanic. I remember her editing my English papers and teaching me how to write properly. I remember playing cards with her. If we beat her she would get mad. I remember watching movies with her, specifically Real Women Have Curves and Catch Me If You Can in her bedroom. All of these memories I will hold on for a lifetime. I knew, not only through words, that my aunt loved me with all of her heart.

Last night we had a celebration of her life service. My husband, Mike, led the service that he and I prepared. It was a powerful service about my aunt. Many people felt the love that I felt from my aunt. Her faith, wisdom, integrity, will power, passion, English writing skills, her eloquence, her ability to say what was on her mind in a non-confrontational way, and her deep compassion for all people she met was a true devotion to whom Christ created her to be.

I have been deeply affected by my aunts passing. She is the closest person in my life who has passed away. Sometimes I still think that she's around. The thing is...I know that my Titi is still with me. Her presence and her Spirit will be with me forever. I believe in the resurrection. She is with God. Having trust in God and in my aunt's presence with God helps me to feel consolation. Please pray for her soul, my family, and her close friends as we grieve the loss of her life here on earth, reflect and rejoice on her presence before she passed, and as we celebrate her presence with God.

Sept. 16th, 2010: Letter to the Mayor

This letter is written by a friend of mine, Rene Ronquillo, to Mayor Berry in Albuquerque. It highlights some of the issues that we in Albuquerque are facing. Feel free to comment. I know this is a hot button issue.


It could happen to anyone – all it takes is a small twist of fate.

A debilitating injury, an accident, a divorce, loss of a job…all of these could lead to homelessness.

The recent arrests of two men for feeding the homeless without a permit are terrible tragedies and a sad display of the priorities of our city and APD. Why would the honest giving of one person to another require a permit?

Poor and homeless people will always be a very real part of our society, and I know that if I ever became a person in need, I would be so grateful that someone cared enough to spend every Sunday afternoon for 4 years helping to make sure that my belly was full.

The police are claiming that feeding the homeless requires a permit and that that is why these men were arrested. Since when does kindness require a permit? Across all cultures worldwide, sharing a meal is one of the most basic examples of what makes a community.

APD and city officials are claiming that permits are required to protect the health of the homeless. But if the city were truly concerned about the health of the homeless, they would make public restrooms available. They would make public water fountains available. They would see that a man serving fresh fruit sure beats the health risks of dumpster-diving. In the 4 years that these volunteers have been serving the homeless, there has never been an incident of sickness. In fact, they do a public service by cleaning 4th Street after they serve and leaving it cleaner than it was when they arrived. I know this because I’ve seen it.

Let’s be real, Mayor Berry. These arrests were not about your concerns for the health of the homeless. They were about business and the bottom line – money! The easy (and callous) thing to do is to eliminate the sight of these homeless folks so that tourism and downtown business can thrive. Why else would Alfonso Hernandez, the man serving and caring for these people, be ordered to not come within 100 feet of 4th Street and be charged with criminal trespassing?? That’s not about a permit…that’s about keeping the homeless people away from downtown.

Stopping these volunteers from serving others is a violation of their constitutional and religious rights!

The hard thing to do…the Christian thing to do…the right thing to do is to try to educate the public and change the minds and hearts of those who avoid the downtown area because there are homeless folks down there. The homeless are not to be feared or shunned – they do not cause crime. I know because I’ve worked with them, and I know many of the folks who eat Alfonso’s meal every Sunday. I’ve seen more love and generosity from these people, who have nothing but the backpack on their backs, than from some people I meet in church or who have much to give and don’t.

Let’s invoke some commonsense. There are real criminals out there, after all – thieves, murderers, drug dealers, rapists…doesn’t Albuquerque’s finest (16 of them to be exact, who showed up on 4th Street this past Sunday the 12th) have better things to do and worry about than a man trying to serve his community by feeding the homeless and picking up garbage?

Homelessness can happen to ANYONE! How would you like to be treated if you were in their situation? What we need is more education, commonsense, solidarity, and compassion.

August 7th, 2010: Junk

In 2008-2009 I took my first JustFaith class at Risen Savior parish. At the end of that course one of my goals was to help the environment by stopping junk mail from arriving at my home. First, it is rare that I look through any of my junk mail. Secondly, the purpose of junk mail is primarily so people purchase what is being advertised. Well since I don't look through my junk mail I don't purposely purchase the things being advertised therefore defeating junk mails purpose. I do throw it into my paper recycle bin but what would be better for the environment would be to stop junk mail from coming to my house all together.

Did you know that: Each year in our country 4.5 million tons of junk mail is produced. It uses 100 million trees a year and wastes 28 billion gallons of water for paper processing each year. This is so sad considering there are places in our world that have difficulty finding drinking water. On average each person receives 1.5 personal letters each week compared to 10.8 pieces of junk mail. Then 44% of all junk mail is thrown in the trash, unopened and unread and $320 million of local taxes are used to dispose of unsolicited mail each year.

Here are the sites I found for you to navigate. Stop your junk mail from coming, save our environment, save trees, and water. Its an easy step towards justice.

http://www.donotmail.org/
http://www.ecocycle.org/junkmail/
http://www.stopjunkmailnow.com/

The process might take you a few hours but the environmental benefits will last a lifetime.

July 31st, 2010: Broken

This last week I shadowed the Center for Immigration & Citizenship Legal Assistance at Catholic Charities. Interesting enough parts of the Arizona SB-1070 law took affect on Thursday. It was a great week for me to ask a lot of questions and learn a lot about our broken immigration system. I have avoided the topic of immigration in previous blogs because of the tense political climate in the US around immigration for as long as I have known. So rather than feed the frenzy I am going to just tell a few stories.

Nine months ago Catholic Charities was introduced to a refugee Cuban family consisting of two people, a mother and her adult son. Legally, after one year and one day of being a refugee in the US (with proper documentation) refugees can petition for legal permanent resident (LPR) status. The paperwork process for Catholic Charities and the clients in these cases are usually not difficult because refugees have been with Catholic Charities for quite some time and Catholic Charities knows their histories. Currently the family of two is bringing in about $1,600 a month in income. I am not certain on how many hours a week they work but we are certain that they both have a job. This income is to pay for their rent, food, utilities, and anything to get by. However, now that they want to file for LPR status. Financially it will cost both people in the family, combined, approximately $3,000 to become legal permanent residents. What I did find out is that they don't loose their refugee status after one year and one day but eventually, I believe, and I could be wrong, if they wait longer than seven years they could loose their status. Regardless, financially they are barely getting by. What is the client to do?

A young man walks into the office. He is about 23 years old. His mother is petitioning for him to become a LPR. She became a LPR via a marriage with an American citizen. His mom brought him over from Mexico when he was three months old. He has grown up his entire life in the US. He has never been to Mexico. When he was younger on a I-9 form once he was employeed he claimed that he was a US Citizen; this is a serious crime so much so that this young man now has a ban that could either delay his LPR status for a really long time or potentially he would never get legal status. I am not saying what he did was right. He was young and wanted a job and did what it took. But now what he did for the job might cause him his legal residency status. Imagine a young man, 23 years old, his life ahead of him, only speaks English, and has never left the country...what is the client to do?

A young woman walks into the office. She is 18 years old and a US Citizen. Her mother is a Mexican citizen living in Juarez. She wants to petition for LPR status for her mother. The young woman is scared that the violence that is erupting in Juarez will affect her mother. There is no direct threat to her mother, merely, indirect, which is still scary. Regardless the young woman is turned away. For a child to petition their parent the child must be 21 years old. She leaves and says she will be back in three years. The 18 year old child is scared about her mothers safety. What does this client do for the next three years as she waits, in fear, for a phone call from a relative about the situation in Juarez?

The system is broken, and honestly, I am not so sure what the answer is. Its true we need comprehensive immigration reform in the US. But what does comprehensive immigration reform look like? And beyond what we need in the US, globally, we need peace and a way people can earn a living in their own countries to support themselves and their families. The majority of people who migrate, from what I have learned, if they had the resources (food, shelter, clothing, money) to live in their birth country they would. But because of lack of resources and/or war and violence they just can't 'live' in their country for fear of death either from no food or violence.

What can we do? Pray - first and foremost - that God work with our human laws and hearts so that people are treated with dignity and respect where ever they are. Also advocating for comprehensive immigration reform. If you look at the website created by the United States Catholic Conference of Bishops, Justice for Immigrants, http://www.justiceforimmigrants.org/, you will see some of the ideas the Bishops' believe are important for immigration reform in the United States. Talk to your local representatives and see what you can do to make immigration reform occur. Lastly I think one of the most important issues in any social justice matter is putting a face to the cause. Interacting with immigrants so that one realizes that they are human, they have families they love and are caring for, they are here to attempt to live...open your eyes, hands, and time so that God can work with your heart.

Leviticus 19:32-34
If a stranger lives with you in your land,
do not molest him. You must count him as one of
your own countrymen and love him as yourself -
for you were once strangers yourselves in Egypt.
I am Yahweh your God.

July 24th, 2010: Unsettled

This is the end of my second week at Catholic Charities in Albuquerque and I am loving it. I am learning a lot. My first week I shadowed the Center for Self-Sufficiency and Housing Assistance. This last week I shadowed the Center for Refugee Settlement and Support. I am shadowing all of the Centers at Catholic Charities so that I can go out and educate the community on Catholic Charities and Catholic Social Teaching - the tenants that are the mission and vision of the organization. For me to give these presentations around the Archdiocese of Santa Fe I myself need to know what Catholic Charities does, hence, my 5-6 weeks of shadowing and researching.

This week at the Center for Refugees my heart has been broken. A refugee according to the UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) defines a refugee as a person who has fled his/her country of origin/residency and who is unwilling/unable to return because of a well-founded fear of persecution based on race, religion, nationality, political opinion, or membership in a political social group. This definition excludes those leaving their country of origin/residency only to seek a more prosperous life. Refugees come to the United States through a long legal process that can take from a few months to many years; in some cases a refugee may be in a refugee camp outside his/her country of origin/residency for up to 15 years waiting entry into the United States. According to the UNHCR there are approximately 16 million refugees in our world today. The cap, ceiling not quota, of refugees admitted into the US for 2010 is at 80,000 people. Less that 1/2% of people that apply to come to the United States are admitted. In Albuquerque from July 2009-July 2010 208 people (adults and children) from around the world (Iraq, Cuba, Congo, Bhutan, and many other places) were settled here.

Bluntly, I have learned that the system to bring refugees into the United States and the system to keep them here in a dignified way is broken. In theory, and this is something I agree with, it is helpful that we at least have a system in place to settle refugees from war-torn areas. However once they enter the United States they have many obstacles to overcome before they can survive here. There are many reasons the system is failing.

First, the system was last re-designed in the 1980s when many of the refugees who were coming into US had more resources (money and connections to other family/friends in the US). Now, many of those coming into the country are coming from third world countries that need a lot more services and resources. Without going into too many details the government helps refugees financially for 120 days (four months). If they qualify, after 120 days refugees could qualify for food stamps and Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (receive money). However due to lack of the English language (you cannot learn English proficiently in four months if you cannot read/write even your own primarily language) and the bad economy some families/refugees end up on the streets. In addition Catholic Charities has seen a dramatic increase in medical attention needed for refugees due to the nature of where they came from. A refugee will have a difficult time dealing with their illness, learning a language, and finding a job in a foreign country in a 120 period.

This brings me to my second point. 120 days is too short of a time for a refugee to acclimate and be self-sufficient. Imagine you moving to a foreign country where you don't speak the language, don't understand the culture, have a medical need, and their economy is bad. In the US I have known of people, who speak English and are in great health, who take six months to find a job to sustain themselves. Funding is therefore an issue. It falls on the state, local government, and Catholic Charities as an unfunded mandate to help refugees do the close to impossible in 120 days. Granted, sometimes 120 days is all a refugee from Cuba might need but a refugee from the Congo has very different needs and barriers to cross. The US government essentially says that "yes" we welcome you to our country but the money or time is just not there to support the "yes". It disturbs me to read that some say its better for refugees to be homeless in our country than to be in their war-torn country. Is that really how we want to treat someone who has already suffered enough? Is that really how we want someone who waited 15 years in a refugee camp to be treated? Granted the system that is in place is premised on full employment in our country but even with full employment in our country the demographics of who a refugee is has dramatically shifted.

This brings me to my last point. Advocacy is needed. Those who are coming from different countries don’t have the political capital to get their agenda on the table in DC or even locally. A Congolese Lobby Group does not exist. We must use our voices to advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves because they are attempting to merely live. We need to talk to our representatives about fixing the refugee system. Some of the basic things you can bring up are, 1) increase funding for refugees or say yes to less refugees so that the refugees that are admitted into the US get more funding, 2) increase the amount of time refugees get funding - 120 days in just not enough, 3) increase the resources for refugees - help them educationally and with the English language, and 4) when placing someone somewhere in the United States account for their needs (health, social, etc). I am unsettled with the current system. Catholic Charities is working so hard to work within the parameters given to them. Catholic Charities is doing amazing work (teaching them English, giving cultural awareness classes, providing them a home to live in for 120 days, funded by the government, that is fully furnished, in-kind donations, and much more). However, Spending time with families and children of different countries around the world, seeing them attempting to acclimate and learn English, seeing them trying to rush to do all that they need to do in 120 days to build their homes leaves me unsettled.

If you have more questions about the refugee system I can provide more details. Leave me a comment and I can email you. I am not an expert but if I don't know the answers I can ask sources that do know them.

I also want to thank those who taught me a lot of this information in the Refugee Center at Catholic Charities.